Ah yes! There are many quotes and phrases that encourage us to take a risk, be brave and step outside our comfort zone. Carpe diem and all that. Many wise and successful people exhort us to face our fears and ‘just do it!’ the promise being that Life will surely reward our efforts.
I’m not sure that Life is meant to reward us with anything. From where I stand Life is always bringing us opportunities to learn, not about things, but about ourselves. Perhaps it’s the learning that is the reward rather than anything that might happen externally.
In the last couple of years, I have stepped outside my comfort zone and done things that some might consider to be bold or brave or maybe just a little crazy. I have jumped into ice baths and walked over hot coals. I have danced with my eyes closed in a room full of strangers and shouted out my name at the top of my voice. I have sat with another’s pain and not tried to fix it. I have woken before sunrise to sit in a room with other soul sisters to meditate, silently, for two hours….
To the casual observer it would appear that nothing much has changed in my life since I did these things. I still work in the same field, and I still live in the same place. In a world that reveres outward displays of accomplishments, mine would barely register. And that’s okay with me. I didn’t do any of those things to impress anyone; I did it to find the borders of my being only to find there are none.
It's enough for me to know with unwavering belief, that indeed my life has changed because it’s me that has changed. Everything I am experiencing is different: the conversations, the people – the ones arriving and the ones leaving - the connections, the gratitude I feel, and the developing trust in my own intuition. I can only describe it as a blossoming.
What I consider to be the greatest challenge is to challenge your own internal dialogue; the dialogue that is unconsciously calling the shots. You need to be bold enough – or crazy enough – to question everything you think is true about who you are. Are you who you’ve been brought up to be, who you’ve been told you are by others or who you think you’re supposed to be? How many times have you told yourself you can’t or shouldn’t do something because ‘you’re not that type of person?’ Who taught you that?
In the last few weeks, my greatest challenge has been coming up against the blueprint of my identity. It’s very chaotic in there. So many rules and statements that I have lived by because that’s what I was taught and that’s also what kept me out of trouble most of the time. It’s much easier to just do as you’re told than to challenge established ways. That might make sense when you are a child, but I am an adult and I’m making my own decisions, right?
‘You can choose courage, or you can choose comfort, but you cannot choose both.’ – Brenè Brown
Well, it turns out a lot of those voices in my head telling me what is right or wrong and who I am as a person are not mine. They may be well-meaning, but they are not mine. They are the voices of doubt, disapproval and judgment. They are also the voices of fear. Fear that I am standing on the precipice of revolution and evolution, of leaving behind beliefs and traditions and expectations that no longer serve. Even when you are convinced that letting go is a good thing, and that you will benefit from letting go, you will be scared. But only if you are doing it properly….
We need to understand and accept that when these moments arrive in our lives, there will be resistance both within you and from others. Within you, because stepping out of that comfort zone is akin to a part of you dying. From others, because they are unconsciously bitter and angry that you are leaving them behind and doing what they may not be bold enough to do for themselves. Perhaps you will inspire someone, perhaps not. That’s not what’s important. What’s important is that you do it for yourself. It’s not an easy thing by any stretch and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.
Maybe it’s true that fortune favours the bold. I guess it depends on what fortune you are seeking. To my mind, there is no greater fortune, no greater blessing than the revelation of your deepest soul essence. It’s the gift you simultaneously give to yourself and to the world. Go on then, go be you.